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Humor and/or Wit

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Humor and/or Wit

Post  Shelby on Sat Nov 01, 2008 11:32 am

In this thread, we can post on any topic (even religion & politics), as long as it is all about humor and/or wit. Seriously, nothing serious here, or I might have to seriously hit the delete button.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty I don't hate the politicians

Post  Shelby on Sat Nov 01, 2008 11:36 am

I don't hate the politicians, I just think they are by definition of the profession, involved in socialized profit models (i.e. crooks). Many see means to an end with politics. I see NO END of politics.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Spam is pulse of what is popular?

Post  Shelby on Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:52 pm

Stock Index is constantly on the coursedown, many solid banks
are on the edge of bankruptcy, Wall Street is down inpanic,
WHAT SHALL WE DO?!!! Just keep in mind that emotional
stresswould not help your health and take an antidepressant
from our store, now twice as cheap asin any other one.P.S And let
the crisis help himself!

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Humor and/or Wit Empty aint that a hoot

Post  SRSrocco on Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:53 am

What a FRICKEN RIOT......HAHAHAAHAHHAHHAHA

Humor and/or Wit Hedge-10

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Amish

Post  Jim on Mon Dec 15, 2008 6:12 am

Shelby,

That Amish video you posted is a real hoot:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsfVw9xxoNY

Thanks for posting it.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Investment Banking Explained

Post  Shelby on Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:11 pm

Fractional Reserve Banking (i.e. fiat or dollars) enables the selling of lies ("raffle tickets"), because it doesn't matter how many people you have guarding the henhouse, they can always be corrupted by the massive money to be made for the lies. The ONLY way to stop such lies is not through more guards/regulations, but to use a form of money (gold, silver) that can not be made a lie. There is no such thing as "dead" silver or gold. It is either silver and gold, or it isn't.

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, 'Sorry Chuck, but I have some bad
news, the donkey died.'

Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with a dead donkey?

Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

Chuck said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with
that dead donkey?'

Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and
made a profit of $898.00.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'

Chuck now works for Morgan Stanley.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty True meaning of "SEC"

Post  Shelby on Wed Feb 25, 2009 7:06 am

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ponzi#The_Ponzi_scheme

...Ponzi went to several of his friends in Boston and promised that he would double their investment in 90 days...Ponzi started his own company, the "Securities Exchange Company," to promote the scheme...

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Edit any page on the web!

Post  Shelby on Wed Apr 22, 2009 5:58 pm

This is funny (at least to me), but it is also the beginning of a very serious novel editing tool:

Humor and/or Wit Mickey10


Hehehe, Obama loves Cool Page:

http://download.cnet.com/Cool-Page/3000-10247_4-10024827.html?tag=mncol
Humor and/or Wit Obama10



See attached image for how you can deface (your private copy of) commercial web pages with this technique. You could have some fun editing the "official" websites for news and the like.


Here is WYSIWYG technique to edit the text on any web page you have loaded into your browser. It edits right there in browser and no silly forms, but 100% WYSIWYG like when editing inside the Cool Page application before.


Sometimes it just hits you like a rock in the head after many years of wasting time. I whipped this up in less than a day. It is very, very, very limited, but it shows a very novel concept. Try this and let me know if you've seen anyone else do this?

Very simple instructions:


1. Create a new bookmark for any page on the net.

IE: Favorites menu -> Add to Favorite
FF: Bookmarks menu -> Bookmark this Page



2. Right click the new entry in the Favorites or Bookmarks menu, and choose "Properties". Rename the entry to "Editor" and then Copy + Paste the following code into the entry as follows (make sure you rejoin the following into one line, if the email has broken it into multiple lines):

javascript:var%20t=document.createElement('script');t.setAttribute('src','http://coolpage.com/Editor.js');document.body.appendChild(t);void(t);

IE: Paste into "URL"
FF: Paste into "Location"



3. Navigate to any page on the web (or your computer), then after the page has loaded, click the "Editor" entry in the Favorites or Bookmarks menu. This enables the Editor on the page you viewing. You can then click the mouse on any text on that page, and then begin typing. You will see the text you typed appear right on the page in the browser as you are typing it. It doesn't yet give any indicator of cursor position, nor does it support backspace, del, or arrow keys, etc.. That can all be done. Also editing of images, undo, tables, pixel accurate placement mixed with flowed HTML, etc can all be done. It can all be done just like Cool Page, but right in the browser window! You can use File menu -> Save Page to save edits.

I tested this only on IE6 and FF3.


Actually steps #1 and #2 can be reduced to having the user right-click a link, and choosing "Add to Favorites" in IE. Also I think I can get the whole reduced to a web page they navigate to, then they select the page the want to edit. So the user-unfriendly steps above won't be necessary in a commercial release, it is just to quickly show you that the concept will work on any page ***RIGHT IN THE BROWSER***.

SAY GOODBYE TO ALL LIMITATIONS I HAD IN COOLPAGE. THE SKY IS THE LIMIT, BECAUSE ANY HTML CAN BE EDITED!!! IN 100% WYSIWYG!!!


Note: what makes this code so exciting is that I did not use any proprietary browser APIs. The simple code I wrote works in theory in all browsers. Contrast that against web editors that use specific IE or Gecko (Mozilla/FF) APIs to edit a page WYSIWYG (and thus usually not inside the browser itself, but a separate application). The main advantage is that the experience can be entirely reuseable across the web and seamless. Meaning it can run any where, even an iPhone (in theory). Imagine it being a widget that can someone can put on their webpage (i.e. MySpace, FaceBook, etc) to allow any one to contribute suggested edits, and re-use in numerous ways. In other words, it could spread in use and popularity like a virus.



====================
ADD:

> The key will be enabling it to edit pages and save the changes
> to the server
>
> Here's an idea that could be developed into s/g fun & profitable.
> Remember that 1 mil links page? Did is ever pay off? Well how about a
> domain with a thousand blank pages that anybody can edit! Except they
> cannot edit the auto-generated menu of all the pages on the site (allows
> search engines to spider the site).

There are many marketing experiments that could be done with an editor that can save to a server.

It was always my intention to allow it to save to server. I think the key is to make the "save to server" be something that anyone can easily integrate. What I want to see is many programmers embedding my editor in their projects.

Of course I will also allow people to save their pages to *.coolpage.com, so they have their own page for free. They only pay if they need to remove the advertising from their hosting or if their traffic exceeds minimums.

Also the editor itself will be immediately programmable by other programmers. coolpage.com can be a portal of editor plugins.

In other words, I want use to spread like a virus. The WWW was intended to be an open platform of massively parallel open competition and inter-linking/inter-use.

Actually I want to use something like this to overthrow the current paradigms on the web, because if ever I have enough market share, then I can introduce new features to (or sit above) the HTTP protocol itself. For example, when many people are requesting the same HTTP resource, there should be a browser plugin that can talk to other users' browsers and load it P2P. I want to destroy the importance of server farms and the centralization of the internet.

Next step is to make the editor more robust to prove out further the concept works as WYSIWYG editor.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Shoe size restriction capital controls

Post  Shelby on Fri May 08, 2009 4:30 pm

I heard we have to give our shoe size when sending wires. Did you hear about that? Something about the Shoe bomber (size 15 Air Jordans) is suspected to be buying silver for the impurities to make bombs to spread swing flu in Death Valley?

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Real History of Money

Post  Shelby on Sat Aug 01, 2009 6:17 pm


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Humor and/or Wit Empty Man Has Sex with Horse

Post  Shelby on Sun Aug 02, 2009 2:50 pm

Talk about a victimless crime, I laughed my head off. You think if the horse didn't like it, it could kick the man to death? Duh!

http://www.wsbtv.com/video/20228227/index.html

I am not saying I condone beastiality and perversion, but what two consenting animals do to each other, is their own business. The rear of a horse is one of the one dangerous places to be.

Then again, I take it that it is a crime against someone's private property, and the owner does not like his horse perverted. So I guess there is a victim. So I guess if a drunk driver slams into a tree, destroys his car, survives, then the owner of the tree is a victim?

Seems to me if the owner really wanted to not be a victim, he could just put a more secure barn door for the horse. At least that would be a more free market approach, because we would be asking the govt to be involved. Instead the owner went through the equivalent effort of installing video cam to catch the man in the act. Sounds to me like the owner wants to prove she is victim, rather than solve the problem in the most efficient manner.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty THE LLOYD’s Prayer

Post  Shelby on Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:18 am

http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2009/11/the-lloyds-prayer/

THE LLOYD’s Prayer

Our Chairman,
Who Art At Goldman,
Blankfein Be Thy Name.
The Rally’s Come. God’s Work Be Done
On Earth As There’s No Fear Of Correction.
Give Us This Day Our Daily Gains,
And Bankrupt Our Competitors
As You Taught Lehman and Bear Their Lessons.
And Bring Us Not Under Indictment.
For Thine Is The Treasury,
The House And The Senate
Forever and Ever.
Goldmen.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Don't let the sheeple find out that washing with soap is more sanitary than toilet paper

Post  Shelby on Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:14 pm

Humor and/or Wit Newyor11


> What caption would you put on this cartoon? Here's mine.
>

1. Crowd chanting "What about the golden anodized aluminum doubloons?"

2. "Show your tits!"

3. Your majesty, we wouldn't want to limit supply so they learn that it is cleaner to clean their ass by washing with soap.

4. Just think of how much it disincentivizes counterfeiting.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Re: Humor and/or Wit

Post  skylick on Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:40 pm

we couldn't get the two loaves and five fish thing to work, so we came up with this.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty French President drunk at press conference

Post  Shelby on Fri Dec 11, 2009 6:55 am


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Humor and/or Wit Empty Leaders

Post  Shelby on Mon Jan 04, 2010 12:15 am

http://www.gold-eagle.com/editorials_08/baltin010210.html

In plain and simple terms this bill is a total sham and is in reality a backdoor Income Tax Increase and a complete takeover of 1/5th of our economy.

Let's see if I got this straight: We are going to pass a healthcare plan written by a committee head who says he does not understand it, passed by a Congress that has not read it, but nevertheless exempts themselves from it. Then it will be signed by a President who also has not read it, and who by the way, smokes; with funding administered by a Treasury Chief who did not pay his Income Taxes, overseen by a Surgeon General who is Obese and financed by a country that is bankrupt. What could go wrong?

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Zealotry

Post  Shelby on Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:25 am

http://www.caseyresearch.com/displayCdd.php?id=303

A man was walking across a bridge one day and saw another man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So he ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" the man on the bridge said.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are you religious?"

“Yes.”

"Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant? "

“Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God!"

"Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

"Die, heretic scum!

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Free market

Post  Shelby on Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:03 am

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5B01Z920091201

Somali pirates have created an unofficial stock exchange to trade shares in their newly created 'maritime companies'.

It's open 24/7 in Haradheere and enables locals to participate in the upside of their offshore ransom operations by subscribing for shares in cash or hardware such as rocket-propelled grenades as per this quote ...

Piracy investor Sahra Ibrahim, a 22-year-old divorcee, was lined up with others waiting for her cut of a ransom pay-out after one of the gangs freed a Spanish tuna fishing vessel.

"I am waiting for my share after I contributed a rocket-propelled grenade for the operation," she said, adding that she got the weapon from her ex-husband in alimony.

"I am really happy and lucky. I have made $75,000 in only 38 days since I joined the 'company'."

Looking for a better job?

Humor and/or Wit 12599610Humor and/or Wit 12599611

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Humor and/or Wit Empty "Ben-d-you-over-the-table Bernanke"

Post  Shelby on Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:13 am


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Humor and/or Wit Empty If you voted me, change is on the way!

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:54 pm

Haha, at least we can laugh about what it is happening:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PqI12R8YNU

Hey give Obama some understanding, he has "lot of things to focus on"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVaiIvcav64

This baby is teaching himself to dance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mD-4cQz0s8E

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Humor and/or Wit Empty The Money Hole (literally)

Post  Shelby on Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:30 pm


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Humor and/or Wit Empty 16-year-old nabbed for raping a pig in Mindanao; Rapist marries his victim

Post  Shelby on Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:02 am

The rapist who got out of jail by marrying his 14 year old victim:

http://www.mb.com.ph/node/246834/rapi

The pig and goat rapings:

http://www.gmanews.tv/story/185691/16-year-old-nabbed-for-raping-a-pig-in-mindanao

A 16-year-old boy was arrested for allegedly raping a pig in Koronadal City in Mindanao, a radio report said on Tuesday.

Radio dzXL reported that the irate owner of the animal haled the suspect, whose name was withheld, to a police station in Koronadal City after learning of the act.

Mariano Curay, the owner of the unfortunate sow, said the incident occurred in Sarabia village in Koronadal City.

But the suspect was freed after a few hours, because the police could not file charges against him as he is a minor.

The incident came half a year after an 18-year-old farmer was arrested for allegedly sexually molesting – and killing - a two-year-old goat in Iloilo province after a drinking spree.

In that incident, the owner of the goat was shocked to see the suspect sexually assaulting the animal.

Police learned Rogie Calamaan went on a drinking spree after he had finished planting rice. The goat died after the assault, the report said.

Calamaan was quoted as saying he was going to gather the harvested rice when he saw the goat in a "prone" position, and took "interest."

He said he strangled the goat when it tried to resist his advances.

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Humor and/or Wit Empty If it weren't so true, it would be funny instead of sad

Post  Shelby on Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:50 pm


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Humor and/or Wit Empty FUKITOL pill

Post  Shelby on Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:10 am

Humor and/or Wit Fw_20s10Humor and/or Wit Fw_20s10

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Humor and/or Wit Empty Re: Humor and/or Wit

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