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Humor and/or Wit

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Nobody, nobody but you

Post  Shelby on Sat May 01, 2010 1:16 am

Maybe you've heard the pop song, "Nobody, nobody but you":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqjuvPZ1ISo

Well the national govt (banksters) fielded a candidate in the Davao City mayoral election, Prospero Nograles (current speaker of the House of Representatives for entire country). He choose to the use that song in his motorcade megaphone advertising. He didn't have lyrics for the song, just the song, with a speaker yelling "vote for Nograles".

The filipinos crack me up, they changed the words to "Nograles, Nograles, bayut". Bayut means homosexual! Hahahaha.

They did a mock election here among students, the 22 year incumbant Duturte got like 95% of the votes. Nograles has a big billboard "We need change" and Duturte responded with a big billboard "Change for what?". Nograles and DeGuzman had 4 years control here in Davao and the drugs got so bad here in 2001 (I was personally affected by this, but I did not take drugs). The Davao are not stupid like Americans apparently.

Duturte chose "La Bamba" melody (not the lyrics) for his theme song.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Gun control

Post  Shelby on Wed May 05, 2010 3:17 pm

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Nextdo10
(click photo for article)

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty USA is "stronger", because it is owned by China

Post  Shelby on Sun May 23, 2010 5:27 am


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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty avoid confiscation at airports

Post  Shelby on Thu May 27, 2010 5:51 pm

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/greek-scramble-physical-brings-gold-price-1700-ounce#comment-375948

read a news item a month or so ago about a guy got stopped at a mexican airport with about 100 ozs. it was confiscated and he was detained.

Put it in an unwrapped condom with some mayonnaise. No one will search further.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Back to simple life

Post  Shelby on Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:55 pm

I wanted to share a funny animation about the disadvantages of modern life (e.g. addiction and loss of real relationships) and then getting back to the fun of a simple life, hope you will laugh if you watch this and make sure you watch all the way to the end, something funny happens after the credits at the end:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwqPOkcXrYQ

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Asian men sew silicon balls in their penis to compensate for smaller size

Post  Shelby on Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:41 pm

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Ballit10 <-- click for article

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty OdorousArmpitus vs. McFatten

Post  Shelby on Tue Sep 14, 2010 9:06 am

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Europe10
Not trying to be sexist, I didn't see a suitable male image to partner with this one.
No offense intended towards sexy or overweight body types, to each his/her own choice.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Is the owner the owner?

Post  Shelby on Wed Sep 15, 2010 5:08 am

http://esr.ibiblio.org/?p=2548#comment-278457

>If Steve Jobs were really skilled in ninjutsu, surely he would have been able to get those
>shuriken on his own private jet without a problem.

Such as:

“I don’t have any throwing stars on me, I checked those in with my baggage.”
“But Sir, you very clearly have them, they were found on your body and are right here before me as we are talking.”
“Of course. I’ve appointed myself to the role of the check-in agent and baggage handler of my plane. I checked them in, handed them over to the baggage handler and just about to put them into the baggage compartment. Problem…? {trollface grin}”

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Statist vs. Anarchist

Post  Shelby on Sat Sep 18, 2010 4:55 pm

Shelby aka Jocelyn wrote:@Winter
> I think we basically agree

Disagree entirely with your characterization.

An anarchist lives the longest life (typically 80+), greatest natural health, has more wealth than he knows what to do with, and has more and better sex, more friends, is more competitive, usually more athletic, more knowledge, wiser, gives and receives more true love, is closer to his spirit, has more purpose, understand his/her existence, raises more and smarter offspring, juggles and solves Rubik's cube faster, laughs more, does a better Steve Martin impersonation, eats more peanuts, farts more and more odorously, has more armpit hair, walks or runs instead of waddles, etc..

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Just don't hold it that way

Post  Shelby on Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:27 am


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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty I'm your 401k

Post  Shelby on Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:54 am

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 401k10


401k is dressed as a ghost much larger than what he is.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty NEWS: Economic recovery Headed through the roof

Post  Shelby on Mon Sep 20, 2010 4:19 pm

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Housin10

Thanks to SRSrocco.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Brain-jacking Fungus turn into mind controlled zombie while it consumes from inside

Post  Shelby on Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:29 pm

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/12/ant_zombie_fungus_horror/

Whoops, I meant to post this in the "How I live without health insurance" or "Natural Health and God healing" thread.

(it is a dry humor, no drip)

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Sheeple, "should I put my head back in ground?"

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:00 pm

Code:
                                _,-------.
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                    `.    ;`-'      ;      ;
                      `-,''.        ,'    ;
                    _,-'    `-.__,-'      ;
              _,,-"""                    ;
              `.                        ;
              ;`.                      ;
              ;  `.                  ;
              ;.  `.      ;        ;
                ;    `.    ;      ;
                ;      `-.. ;      ;
                ;          ,'    ;
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                ;              ;
                  ; --.          ;
                  ; .___        ;
                  ;    '--..  ;
                  ; '--..      ;
                    ;_    '"    ;
                    ;""'-._    ;
                    ;-.._      ;
                    ;_  '""  ;
                    ; '- .    ;

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Re: Humor and/or Wit

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:02 pm

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Cartoon20407-thumb

Thanks NZ_Andy.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty If you ate too much on Christmas and need to barf, this might do it

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:02 pm

https://www.youtube.com/v/TU_2eHaqRZE

:eek:

Watch the "guy" in the green pants up to about 1 minute point.

Enjoy your New Years celebrations.

(I was trying to do that :o)

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Much talk about IQ, so I figured I better give an example

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:03 pm

Drill Sergeant: Gump! What's your sole purpose in this army?

Forrest Gump: To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant!

Drill Sergeant: God damn it, Gump! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty more IQ

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:03 pm

http://esr.ibiblio.org/?p=2849#comment-291751

Monster,

> I must be galactically dense.

Since galaxies are mostly empty space, i.e. the complete opposite of dense: Don’t flatter yourself. No one is that much of a genius!

Yours,
Tom

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Benny and the Jets

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:04 pm

better if you listen to song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjUk3Bp16zs

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Akcs-www?get_gallerynr=1052

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty We No Speak Americano

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:04 pm



Last edited by Shelby on Fri Jul 01, 2011 4:28 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Maybe it is just me...

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:05 pm

...but I found it hilariously ironic to see two feminists arguing over the definition of rape:

http://www.democracynow.org/seo/2010/12/20/naomi_wolf_vs_jaclyn_friedman_a

(see the short video)

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty my sister's dog FOOL was an animal (I think?)

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:05 pm

Shelby wrote:...*FOOL is a tribute to my sister and her favorite dog of that name, which looked like a cross between a hamster and an armadillo (who I unfortunately dumped on a farm miles away after he wouldn't stop barking by my bedroom window for 3 months straight)-- I mean the dog not the girl.

Maybe an alien.

Has anybody seen him? Photos?

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Firefox got jealous of Chrome

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:06 pm

My Firefox browser was "hang" with a busy cursor for over a minute, so I opened my Google Chrome browser to post this message.

Then suddenly Firefox sprang back to life and popped up in front of my Chrome.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Ban water

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:12 pm


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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Evolution vs. Creation

Post  Shelby on Tue Feb 08, 2011 2:46 am

And you tell me we weren't descended from gorillas?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71tFcioSqlk

Watch to the end.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Re: Humor and/or Wit

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