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Humor and/or Wit

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Leaders

Post  Shelby on Mon Jan 04, 2010 12:15 am

http://www.gold-eagle.com/editorials_08/baltin010210.html

In plain and simple terms this bill is a total sham and is in reality a backdoor Income Tax Increase and a complete takeover of 1/5th of our economy.

Let's see if I got this straight: We are going to pass a healthcare plan written by a committee head who says he does not understand it, passed by a Congress that has not read it, but nevertheless exempts themselves from it. Then it will be signed by a President who also has not read it, and who by the way, smokes; with funding administered by a Treasury Chief who did not pay his Income Taxes, overseen by a Surgeon General who is Obese and financed by a country that is bankrupt. What could go wrong?

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Zealotry

Post  Shelby on Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:25 am

http://www.caseyresearch.com/displayCdd.php?id=303

A man was walking across a bridge one day and saw another man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So he ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" the man on the bridge said.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are you religious?"

“Yes.”

"Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant? "

“Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God!"

"Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

"Die, heretic scum!

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Free market

Post  Shelby on Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:03 am

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5B01Z920091201

Somali pirates have created an unofficial stock exchange to trade shares in their newly created 'maritime companies'.

It's open 24/7 in Haradheere and enables locals to participate in the upside of their offshore ransom operations by subscribing for shares in cash or hardware such as rocket-propelled grenades as per this quote ...

Piracy investor Sahra Ibrahim, a 22-year-old divorcee, was lined up with others waiting for her cut of a ransom pay-out after one of the gangs freed a Spanish tuna fishing vessel.

"I am waiting for my share after I contributed a rocket-propelled grenade for the operation," she said, adding that she got the weapon from her ex-husband in alimony.

"I am really happy and lucky. I have made $75,000 in only 38 days since I joined the 'company'."

Looking for a better job?

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 12599610Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 12599611

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty "Ben-d-you-over-the-table Bernanke"

Post  Shelby on Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:13 am


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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty If you voted me, change is on the way!

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:54 pm

Haha, at least we can laugh about what it is happening:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PqI12R8YNU

Hey give Obama some understanding, he has "lot of things to focus on"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVaiIvcav64

This baby is teaching himself to dance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mD-4cQz0s8E

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty The Money Hole (literally)

Post  Shelby on Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:30 pm


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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty 16-year-old nabbed for raping a pig in Mindanao; Rapist marries his victim

Post  Shelby on Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:02 am

The rapist who got out of jail by marrying his 14 year old victim:

http://www.mb.com.ph/node/246834/rapi

The pig and goat rapings:

http://www.gmanews.tv/story/185691/16-year-old-nabbed-for-raping-a-pig-in-mindanao

A 16-year-old boy was arrested for allegedly raping a pig in Koronadal City in Mindanao, a radio report said on Tuesday.

Radio dzXL reported that the irate owner of the animal haled the suspect, whose name was withheld, to a police station in Koronadal City after learning of the act.

Mariano Curay, the owner of the unfortunate sow, said the incident occurred in Sarabia village in Koronadal City.

But the suspect was freed after a few hours, because the police could not file charges against him as he is a minor.

The incident came half a year after an 18-year-old farmer was arrested for allegedly sexually molesting – and killing - a two-year-old goat in Iloilo province after a drinking spree.

In that incident, the owner of the goat was shocked to see the suspect sexually assaulting the animal.

Police learned Rogie Calamaan went on a drinking spree after he had finished planting rice. The goat died after the assault, the report said.

Calamaan was quoted as saying he was going to gather the harvested rice when he saw the goat in a "prone" position, and took "interest."

He said he strangled the goat when it tried to resist his advances.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty If it weren't so true, it would be funny instead of sad

Post  Shelby on Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:50 pm


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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty FUKITOL pill

Post  Shelby on Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:10 am

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Fw_20s10Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Fw_20s10

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Nobody, nobody but you

Post  Shelby on Sat May 01, 2010 1:16 am

Maybe you've heard the pop song, "Nobody, nobody but you":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqjuvPZ1ISo

Well the national govt (banksters) fielded a candidate in the Davao City mayoral election, Prospero Nograles (current speaker of the House of Representatives for entire country). He choose to the use that song in his motorcade megaphone advertising. He didn't have lyrics for the song, just the song, with a speaker yelling "vote for Nograles".

The filipinos crack me up, they changed the words to "Nograles, Nograles, bayut". Bayut means homosexual! Hahahaha.

They did a mock election here among students, the 22 year incumbant Duturte got like 95% of the votes. Nograles has a big billboard "We need change" and Duturte responded with a big billboard "Change for what?". Nograles and DeGuzman had 4 years control here in Davao and the drugs got so bad here in 2001 (I was personally affected by this, but I did not take drugs). The Davao are not stupid like Americans apparently.

Duturte chose "La Bamba" melody (not the lyrics) for his theme song.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Gun control

Post  Shelby on Wed May 05, 2010 3:17 pm

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Nextdo10
(click photo for article)

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty USA is "stronger", because it is owned by China

Post  Shelby on Sun May 23, 2010 5:27 am


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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty avoid confiscation at airports

Post  Shelby on Thu May 27, 2010 5:51 pm

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/greek-scramble-physical-brings-gold-price-1700-ounce#comment-375948

read a news item a month or so ago about a guy got stopped at a mexican airport with about 100 ozs. it was confiscated and he was detained.

Put it in an unwrapped condom with some mayonnaise. No one will search further.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Back to simple life

Post  Shelby on Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:55 pm

I wanted to share a funny animation about the disadvantages of modern life (e.g. addiction and loss of real relationships) and then getting back to the fun of a simple life, hope you will laugh if you watch this and make sure you watch all the way to the end, something funny happens after the credits at the end:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwqPOkcXrYQ

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Asian men sew silicon balls in their penis to compensate for smaller size

Post  Shelby on Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:41 pm

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Ballit10 <-- click for article

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty OdorousArmpitus vs. McFatten

Post  Shelby on Tue Sep 14, 2010 9:06 am

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Europe10
Not trying to be sexist, I didn't see a suitable male image to partner with this one.
No offense intended towards sexy or overweight body types, to each his/her own choice.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Is the owner the owner?

Post  Shelby on Wed Sep 15, 2010 5:08 am

http://esr.ibiblio.org/?p=2548#comment-278457

>If Steve Jobs were really skilled in ninjutsu, surely he would have been able to get those
>shuriken on his own private jet without a problem.

Such as:

“I don’t have any throwing stars on me, I checked those in with my baggage.”
“But Sir, you very clearly have them, they were found on your body and are right here before me as we are talking.”
“Of course. I’ve appointed myself to the role of the check-in agent and baggage handler of my plane. I checked them in, handed them over to the baggage handler and just about to put them into the baggage compartment. Problem…? {trollface grin}”

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Statist vs. Anarchist

Post  Shelby on Sat Sep 18, 2010 4:55 pm

Shelby aka Jocelyn wrote:@Winter
> I think we basically agree

Disagree entirely with your characterization.

An anarchist lives the longest life (typically 80+), greatest natural health, has more wealth than he knows what to do with, and has more and better sex, more friends, is more competitive, usually more athletic, more knowledge, wiser, gives and receives more true love, is closer to his spirit, has more purpose, understand his/her existence, raises more and smarter offspring, juggles and solves Rubik's cube faster, laughs more, does a better Steve Martin impersonation, eats more peanuts, farts more and more odorously, has more armpit hair, walks or runs instead of waddles, etc..

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Just don't hold it that way

Post  Shelby on Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:27 am


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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty I'm your 401k

Post  Shelby on Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:54 am

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 401k10


401k is dressed as a ghost much larger than what he is.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty NEWS: Economic recovery Headed through the roof

Post  Shelby on Mon Sep 20, 2010 4:19 pm

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Housin10

Thanks to SRSrocco.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Brain-jacking Fungus turn into mind controlled zombie while it consumes from inside

Post  Shelby on Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:29 pm

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/12/ant_zombie_fungus_horror/

Whoops, I meant to post this in the "How I live without health insurance" or "Natural Health and God healing" thread.

(it is a dry humor, no drip)

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Sheeple, "should I put my head back in ground?"

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:00 pm

Code:
                                _,-------.
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                    _,-'    `-.__,-'      ;
              _,,-"""                    ;
              `.                        ;
              ;`.                      ;
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                  ; --.          ;
                  ; .___        ;
                  ;    '--..  ;
                  ; '--..      ;
                    ;_    '"    ;
                    ;""'-._    ;
                    ;-.._      ;
                    ;_  '""  ;
                    ; '- .    ;

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Re: Humor and/or Wit

Post  Shelby on Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:02 pm

Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Cartoon20407-thumb

Thanks NZ_Andy.

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Humor and/or Wit - Page 2 Empty Re: Humor and/or Wit

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